What are friends? We all have them but what do they really mean to you. recently I've been asking myself this. Not quite sure where I align within my group.
Maturity has hit me like a brick shithouse. Childish shit no longer amuses me. I think this attribute is due to a lack of sleep. Recently heard Matthew Walker talk about this on the rich roll podcast (i highly recommend it). Or the fact that I hit puberty early. Either way, I'm stuck with it now. It really doesn't bother me that I've outgrown them.
The real problem is that they are leaving me before I have the opportunity to do it on my terms. This bugs me, I need to be in control not necessarily in charge but in control, in a place of power. This provides safety and security.
I've lost control. Not of my friends but of myself. I no longer care for myself. not watching what I eat. I'm perfectly fit I just don't wanna eat like shit. Eat like shit you feel like shit.
I'm trying my best to hop back on track, once again I've deleted Instagram and youtube, the main source of the distraction of passive content. I've kept Snapchat because well my girlfriend exists and I need to talk to the friends I have left. major distractions cause major problems.
I've just created new distractions for myself by rewatching episode after episode of shows. I'm sure you've found yourself doing the same.
All these problems have to lead to a quality of life I do not find acceptable.
Do you ever find yourself all talk and no action. That's me right now.
Solutions are right in front of me.
You have the same.
It's always in front of you staring you in your eyes when you check the mirror.
The biggest barrier is not the food or Netflix or Instagram. It's always yourself. no one is left to blame except yourself.
I don't care who you are, assessing the situation will reveal this to you if you are in denial.
Denial is a even worse position.
Assess and overcome, it takes some willpower but you will get there eventually. Be alone in the world. You will start to see in a different light.
You need to push through the pain of wanting to relax. I hate hustle culture. It is practically impossible to work 80 hours a week. Fuck that, try your best on your own steam. Fuck what anyone else tells you to do what you want to do. but make it productive. Even if it's a little as 2 hours a day working on a side project.
All the time you give to it is valuable. Creating worth and demand.
It sounds simple but it really fucking isn't. I've only just begun. Stop making massive goals and start small. Scaleability comes later. Small goals are the foundations to greater ideas.
